


For what it's worth...

by LisaFQueen



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Doubt, Stucky Bingo 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-10-02 00:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20450075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaFQueen/pseuds/LisaFQueen
Summary: Steve is sketching Bucky outside when Bucky suddenly takes off.





	For what it's worth...

**Author's Note:**

> Fill: self-deprecation

“Hey! You think you can just walk away from me?”

Steve was having trouble breathing as it was this time a year with his allergies, and now Bucky had to go and walk off like that while he was sketching him. 

“Bucky!”

The latter just kept walking, seemingly in the direction of their apartment. That was a good thing, as Steve couldn’t handle a drunk and stupid Bucky at this point.

Steve tried to keep up but he didn’t want an asthma-attack to break out here, forcing him to walk instead of run. Plus, Bucky would be pissed and blame himself for it.

He saw Bucky enter their door and Steve felt a relief wash over him. At least now they could talk in private and he didn’t have to pick his friend up at a bar full of cigarettes and smoke.

Unconsciously he gripped his sketchbook tighter, nervous for the talk he was about to have.

Steve opened the door, expecting Bucky to either be making coffee or smoking. But Bucky wasn’t in their kitchen or living room. Steve knew he was upset, he just didn’t know why.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out where he was hiding. Bucky was sitting on the fire escape, facing a red brick wall. That was their view from the bedroom window, both a blessing and a curse.

“Buck?” 

Bucky turned his head to the right, watching as Steve climbed through the window. He sighed.

“So you found me, huh?”

“Wasn’t that hard. I _ saw _where you were running. And seriously, our apartment? Did you expect me to not find you?”

Bucky just chuckled, but he still looked irritated.

Steve came to stand in front of him, trying to catch his gaze which Bucky skillfully avoided. He looked at his hands while scratching one with the other.

“What?”

“What’s wrong? Did I say somethin’?”

Bucky shook his head.

“Why does everything always have to be about you?” he snapped.

Steve was taken aback by the answer and unconsciously stepped a few centimetres back. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean it like that. Just don’t know why you’re so upset all of a sudden.” he muttered, unsure if Bucky even wanted to talk.

But the brunet’s face softened slightly, eyes searching Steve’s now. He gestured vaguely with his hand in the air, a sign neither of them understood.

“I just - you were looking at me like that again and I snapped. Couldn’t handle it anymore, ‘s all.”

Steve frowned, gazing over Bucky’s shoulder to look at the sketchbook he’d thrown on their bed.

“I was drawing you. Of course I looked at you.”

“No, Stevie, not that! It’s _ the way _you look at me, like I’m...” he trailed off, leaving the blond curious.

“Like you’re what?”

Bucky lifted his head to meet Steve’s gaze and stared into dark blue eyes.

He sighed deeply and took Steve’s hands into his, bringing them to his own face.

Steve let him and started stroking his cheek with his thumb, a fond look on his face. All of his attention went to Bucky and the latter dropped his head down. Steve caught it and pushed it back up, forcing Bucky to look up.

“Hey jerk.” 

The words were soft and full of love, almost making Bucky cry. Steve saw and captured his lips with his own, pressing softly.

The kiss was nice and soft and everything Bucky needed to calm down. His hands came up to grab Steve’s waist, rubbing circles on the fabric. Steve’s hands were still attached to the other’s face, guiding him.

When Steve pulled away Bucky let out a long breath, one he had been holding during the kiss and was created by the kiss itself.

Steve smiled genuinely, index finger cupping Bucky’s chin.

“What’s up, soldier?” he teased, glad that Bucky didn’t frown anymore.

Bucky grimaced at this, like Steve had said something cruel but funny.

“Am I? Am I really? Can’t even keep you from getting beat up and still…”

Steve held his head in place when Bucky wanted to look away.

“Stop beating around the bush, Buck. What’s wrong?”

The brunet sighed but complied.

“You just - you look at me like I’m this big person, like I’m the only thing in your world. But Steve, I’m not, okay? I’m not that good, I can’t even stay here with you. And by the way, what kind of a _ friend _am I? I go dancing with girls all the time, getting drunk. Can’t even help you with your asthma-attacks. And the army… What if I can’t pull the trigger when I have to, hm? What if, because of me, someone good dies? I can’t go to the fucking army, I can’t even take care of you. And - “

“Alright! That’s enough!”

Steve dropped his hands and let them hang by his sides while Bucky just nervously fumbled with his. They stared at each other for a moment, both speechless.

Unconsciously the blond put his hands in his pockets, head dipped down at the floor, breaking the eye contact.

“What makes you think you can’t take care of me?”

Bucky lifted his head up, surprised by the question. 

“You still get sick and your asthma is getting worse every year. And no matter how hard I try you still pick fights with bullies and come home with a black eye. You get sick and I can’t do nothin’ about it. And that stupid job! I wanted you to get it _ so bad _but they wouldn’t listen to me! I know how happy that would’ve made you, Stevie.”

The job he referred to was art teacher at their local school. Steve went over there to ask them if he could do it, but they refused. Bucky was angry about it and went to talk to the teachers himself, but they still wouldn’t let Steve have the job.

Steve started to shake his head, amazed at how much Bucky cared.

“Those are all things out of your control, Buck. Maybe I’m just that stupid. Stop belittling yourself. You’re the one that has a paying job, you bring food on the table. And besides that, you really make me happy. I don’t care with how many girls you dance, as long as I don’t have to watch.”

Bucky stared at Steve, wondering if he was kidding. He _ needed _to let him know how much he loved him. He just didn’t know how.

In a desperate attempt to make his thoughts stop rambling, he sprung up from the fire escape and grabbed Steve’s head, pushing him backwards while kissing him.

A surprised gasp was muffled by Bucky’s mouth and tongue. Steve grabbed Bucky’s wrist for support, letting himself be pushed against the wall.

“_ Mfph - _Buck!” 

“Shh Steve, shut up.” 

Bucky pushed Steve’s waist even harder against the wall, wanting him to never leave. Steve pressed up against his body, deepening the kiss.

Bucky’s hands roamed over Steve’s body, from his shoulders to his ass, which he grabbed. Steve opened his legs so Bucky lift him up.

“Still sad?” the blond asked after a few heated minutes.

Bucky left a trail of kisses from Steve’s neck to his right ear, kneading his ass.

He whispered into Steve’s ear, voice husky.

“If I keep doing this all day you won’t have time to get beat up by skunks.”

Steve grinned widely, stroking the back of the other’s head lovingly.

“Maybe I’d be more comfortable in bed, then.” 

Bucky snorted and started walking towards the window with Steve around his waist. 

He let Steve fall onto bed carefully and followed, crawling over him. He hovered and stared, enjoying Steve’s soft hands around his neck.

“I love you.” his throat was dry but he sounded sincere. Steve’s eyebrows shot up for a moment before he replied.

“Is that so?”

Bucky dipped his head and softly nibbed at the exposed skin. Steve could be such an ass at times but that’s one of the things he loved about him.

“Hmhm.” Bucky hummed before taking Steve’s lower lip between his teeth. 

“Why don’t ya show me how much? Like all those girls.” Steve grinned devilishly.

“I intend to.” 

“Oh, _ Bucky!” _ Steve mocked, imitating one of the girls he’d dragged home one night.

Bucky had enough and grabbed Steve’s wrists, pinning them down above his head.

“You done, Rogers? Better watch that pretty mouth of yours.”

Steve stuck out his tongue to Bucky, who played along.

“Before I fuck it.” he added darkly, pressing his mouth to Steve’s roughly.


End file.
